Love kicks ass

[Lovely]

May 7, 2008
before dawn
Follows: The feel of fear

In over a hundred and fifty years, it was something that hadn't happened. The vial in Deacon's hand fell, almost in slow motion as he watched, while his hand flew to his chest to find the piercing pain that staggered him back a step. No one else was in the room and the thought of sudden illness was insanity, even for him. No one else save the man he'd come to collect at hospital tonight, who could hardly be considered a threat in his current state of near-peace. "Shit!" He grappled for breath he didn't need and another vial he did, urgently for both as a bead or two of confusion slipped down his cheek. He mopped it aside and realized it wasn't sweat at all, but tears. Why? What was happening? The pain crawled slowly, an ache hugging his shoulders and slowing his arms. The sadness was utter and overwhelming causing his thoughts to stray from his quarry to his love... Kie-...Kiefer? What's... ? His thoughts were as addled as his concentration and he clenched his eyes closed to think and reason a way around this, but everything swam and made less sense the more he tried. Fear was something foreign to him and it ate at him like a candy drop now. Deacon opened his eyes again and tried to focus past this episode, doing his best but his hand shook and the seal wouldn't release in time to save the man to his eternal rest. He gasped as the glowing force wisped away, lost to the shadows and likely a giddy rebirther happy to steal the man's soul away and plant him in another round of hellish mortality. Deacon was defeated this time, but what by? He put the unused vial away, taking a few tries to settle it in his pockets and stagger his way through the walls to a place in air and openness in hopes of feeling better ... or not feeling at all. This wasn't right and it wasn't him. His thoughts were with her always... perhaps it was...? He sought her out, reached for her, called her to him as the ache nearly brought him to his own knees. "Kiefer...?" He closed his eyes, wishing to be near her and hoping to find her.

Instead of coming to him, somehow he was brought to her where she sat on the dark beach, only the moon light, lapping waves, and gentle breeze to keep her company as the tears flowed down her cheeks. She was curled in the very spot she and Deacon had come to the night he'd asked her to take him to the sea. After witnessing her sister's betrayal and how easy it was for Ace to give in to it, this is where she ended up.. She ran her fingers through the sand as she stared out at the sea, but what could she even see beyond her tears?

Already tuned into feeling and experiencing, the sudden cold of the sea breeze made him pull his collar up and the coat more closed around him as he caught his footing and looked to find where he'd turned up. It wasn't an event that called for his usual services, he realized, finding the breeze lofting her red locks as she drew her fingertips through the grains beneath her. He couldn't quite speak, not having a voice that could squeak past the odd sensation he was grappling with more now as he stepped up to her carefully. His head tipped to the side as his shaking steps came closer to her. Kneeling beside her, he slipped the coat off and around her shoulders without a word.

The coat would have disappeared instantly but because it was Deacon's it floated off and set gently down beside her instead. She wasn't cold and she didn't know why he'd put it on her, she kept staring ahead for a moment longer until the oddness of the situation finally seeped into her. Her fingers stilled in the sand and her gaze drifted down to them, her cheeks dampened with true tears. The goddess had no words, could not even find the ones to ask how it was that he found himself where she was. "Deacon." His name was one word with everything wrapped into it as her hand slowly rose to reach for him.

She'd feel the unsteadiness in him as he reached for her in return, one hand to hers, the other to her cheek. "I ... I felt this," he whispered in awe as if the sound was enough over the surf's roar to shatter her if his touch didn't. He looked at her clawings in the sand and back to her eyes. "Whatever it is.. I... ," his head tipped in wonder.. could it be? "You... need me to be here?"

Kiefer was quiet for a long moment before finally looking at him, she slowly nodded her head. "I need you." Her voice was a whisper and her fingers curled more tightly around his. "Did I call you to me?" Her voice was awed as she looked to his beautiful blue eyes. "I've never done that before."

[Lovely]

She hadn't, not that he could recall in all this time. He'd sought her out and of course she'd told him he had when he wasn't even trying... or thought he wasn't. She'd set him right on that and he grinned now, lightly brushing her other cheek as his own eyes lit up a little more. "I think you did. Another first," he muttered, the awe carrying out to her ears to hear now. He looked away briefly with a bit of a frown, confused and curious as he glanced back. "Can't say I mind really, but why? What happened?"

She was quiet again, this time for a longer span, searching for words to explain what she felt and what she'd witnessed. Her eyes welled up with fresh tears and her chest ached, felt like she couldn't breathe even though she didn't need to. It felt like her insides were twisting and caving in, she curled down and a soft sob escaped. "Ace.. and Pharz" She stammered out, knowing that the names might not be enough to explain her devestation.

Sister and ... former lover? Or was he former? Or was he 'also'? How did it go exactly with Love when it was her own personal life? Deacon settled down to sit in the sand next to her and listen, helped by the surge of fresh pain that bolted through him. He gasped, wide eyed at the pure emotion of it, unfamiliar with such depth of loss as he steadied himself again with the help of her hand in his. What had she seen that could rip her apart so much to reach out for him like this? Words almost formed, the questions nearly at his lips, but they simply parted silently as he watched her tears spring out. His hand returned to her cheek, cupping it gently to catch them as they fell.

She cried harder it seemed at his tenderness but it wasn't because of him, it simply helped her to let it out. Kiefer's head slowly shook from side to side. "I don't understand why she'd... try to hurt me like that." She finally managed to speak a little of what made it feel like her heart was being cut out.

"She.. she tried to hurt you? Wi-... " 'With what'.. sounded like a sword poised to slice through them both if he allowed her to explain... and 'why' could possibly be worse. Those weren't the questions he needed to ask her. She didn't want questions, she wanted comfort. "Kiefer?" He looked around them and to the rolling waves, their rhythm helping him to focus against the pain he felt from her. His voice was low and quiet as always, but not sharp as it tended to be and not cruel as it often was when logic defied his circumstance. "I want to make it better. Please tell me how."

She was lost in her... grief.. that's what it was really, it was losing her sister whom she'd always been close to and had thought she had a deep and special bond with and losing Ace all over again, she had loved him so completely. Kiefer had lost him once and it nearly left her to nothing, and her own sister would see it happen again to saite her own selfish desires which she could easily do elsewhere without destroying Kiefer in the process. Kiefer tried to focus on Deacon and pull herself away from the scene and words that played over and over in her mind and her heart. "Just stay with me... don't leave me.." She whispered, she didn't know what would or could make it better.

Why did she think he wouldn't stay? Deac shook his head, words still escaping him, nearly asking why again out loud and where would he go that he could possibly escape her power over him? More over, his hand rested to her belly and their child who tickled her so as he snapped out, eager to join the world. "I won't. Why... how could I?" His smile was telling as true as his own heart she could feel without him saying a word and his head shook with the admission. "I'm never leaving... not unless Morte releases me, anyway... and I don't see that happening. Even so, I'll still be where you are."

She used to believe the same thing about Ace, though they didn't share a family like she did with Deacon. "What if we were seperated the way I had been from Ace? What if Pharz used her power, her tricks and twisted truths to take you from me as well?" He asked and she couldn't lie, even though it hurt her to say it or think it. It hurt to see Ace playing into it, but it hurt more that her sister had done it to begin with. What she'd seen caused her now to fear that her sister was merely out to destroy her and take what she loved. "You felt lust before you felt love.. as is so often the case. Does that mean lust stronger?"

[Lovely]

For her he wouldn't lie, knowing that she was incapable of lying to him. She laid out her fear and it made every bit of sense now why she was exploding with emotions he didn't understand, though he was beginning to now that he'd dealt with the sour taste of fear himself. "She... affected me for a very long time, but never very deeply. Nothing is as strong as what I feel... what you give me to feel. She may pass my way, affect me again, I don't know. I do know that in all the time I've been here, nothing.... is stronger than -us-."

"I've never shared a family with anyone, in all the time I have been.. " Her voice was soft and her hand drifted to her tummy. "I didn't think it was possible.. So many things with you that have never been before.. I've never been afraid of losing anything.. anyone. Now.." Kiefer looked up at him, the tears had stopped flowing but there was still a gaping hole of pain in her heart. "What if I'm not right there to give you.. is it only because I give it to you to feel?"

"No," he shook his head slightly, his own eye wet like hers as he felt the ache reach out again. "I wasn't right here but I am now. You weren't with me and yet ... here we're together. I'll find you, you'll find me. I told you, I'll always be where you are. I have no doubt of that."

"I suppose I won't have to disable your.. " She glanced down and almost smiled a bit. "..parts then.. like I did his." She bit her lip and sort of shrugged. "I had a moment.. I was hurt and.. I did something unexpected.. of me." Her eyes searched his face, as if she was worried he'd be angry that she reacted to seeing Ace and Pharz. It wasn't like she could really disable Pharz parts.. or could she?

His eyes went wide again and he swore a moment he was talking to Venge. He chuckled, "You... did what??" The laughter built on itself and chipped the pain away a little, then a little more, though a bit of commisserative discomfort was shared in Ace's absence as he winced at the thought. His lips curled around an ooo-ouch briefly before he glanced back to her. "I'm proud of you, you know," he chuckled still and he brought both hands up to clasp her cheeks. "And I love you. You amaze me, startle me, befuddle me and you cannot and will not get rid of me that easily," he warned as he smiled closer and shared that emotion with her in a kiss. "Don't try, please."

His laughter made her smile and finally she laughed a little herself, leaning into him as he held her cheeks in his hands and kissed her. "I love you." She stayed close to kiss him again and gently crawled herself into his lap. "Why proud?"

"Would you think I was horrible if I said I'd been wanting to do that myself since you found out he was back? Jealousy. Pure and simple," he sighed, admitted truly and forwardly - he owed her that, though he kept it in a light tone. "That and ... you did that. You! Love... kicks... ass." He painted out the words with his hands like he was reading a bumper sticker. "You do, you know."

"Ohh.." She reached up now to caress his cheek and brush a wisp of hair out of his face. "I don't think you're horrible.. I understand you being jealous.. but you've been so good about it all, so understanding of how difficult it is for me." Her smile grew brighter though it was a little shy as he made his staements of her kicking ass. "I did do that, huh?" Her fingers danced over his knees and she looked up at him. "I kick ass?"

"Oh yes. And for the record," he said, letting her walk her fingers up higher. "Your sister better steer damn clear of me for a while. I don't need or want her help. I only want - you -."

"If it's all the same I'd like to keep her away from us for awhile.. I'm just not sure if there is a way to keep her out of our house.. you know?" Yes it was Morte's house but it was where they stayed with their family when not on a call.. it was home for her now as well. She smiled a bit as she realized that and she swirled a circle on his thigh. "Take me home?"

[Lovely]

He leaned out to grasp his coat and blanket her with it again, partly to hold her close and hidden, playfully private though they didn't need to be concerned with such things, being distant from mortal perception. "Close your eyes," he said, thinking of someplace better to stay, somewhere close to his heart like she was. Home... it was once though now the small house was merely a relic, but his mind imagined the walls as they were when he was a boy and the safety and peace it held were even more solid still.

"Why?" She asked when he told her to close her eyes, looking at him for a moment longer and then obliging his request. She felt like that left the beach but it didn't feel like they were home yet and he didn't say anything either, so she waited wondering what sort of 'path' he was taking and why he didn't want her to see it. She licked her lips almost straining to hear the sounds of Venge, Morte, and most importantly Rohana's voice or laughter. Her fingers curled with his, lacing somewhat tightly.

The sounds of the sea were softer, less torrid, more shallow and lapping, and somewhere below them if she was listening close. The breeze sounded more hollow, blocked and swirled by the remaining boards and stones that once made the walls and chimney. The hearth remained, though it was well weathered. No matter, if they wanted a fire, they'd have it, not needing it's warmth, just its comforts - an illusion would do them fine. "Open your eyes and come lay down a while?"

She opened her eyes and looked around, feeling confused and on the verge of tears again though she tried hard not to be. "Where are we?" She didn't understand why he didn't take her home? That's where she wanted and needed to be.. yet now she felt terribly selfish because she could feel his desire to be here.. this place meant something to him. The great upset was not settled or gone away, just faded some to a manageable point which he'd been helping with and she'd wanted to continue in a place she felt comfortable and safe in, which was the home they shared with thier family. Besides the fact that the baby was about to be born.. as in right then.

He shifted his foot out to a small stone and sent it skittering over the grass like he'd kicked the stones on the road when they'd met. "Visiting a memory," he smiled and sighed, not able to keep the illusion of it complete for long. Her distress tangled his attention and he willingly let her tangle him more. "My home. This is where I was born. Not so much to be proud of anymore," he said sheepishly, casting a glance around the faltering picture of harmony as it melted to the chaos of age and ruin. Her distress burrowed deeper as she looked around with him. "Kiefer...?" His expression questioned harder than his whisper. Something was wrong.

"It's beautiful.. just not where I meant when I said home or where I expected us to go." She felt dizzy again and giggled, reaching to steady herself with her hands on his arms. "Where you were born... fitting then that our son be born here as well.." She gasped softly and closed her eyes a moment. "Oh yes.. now.. he'd like to be born now.. here.."

"Now? Here?! Right now?" He wasn't one to give into panic, but his mind was so completely on other things that he wasn't switching fast enough to ... do anything he needed to do. There was no bed, no blankets, not water up here on the hill. He looked around at the fading illusions that were useless to her and his hands grasped her wrists, his chest heaving an absent breath as he tried to focus. He couldn't take a step let alone melt them away to their home - his thoughts tumbled and tripped over the moment.. their son... right now? "Right. Well... I have the coat and ... unless you have the wherewithall to help me get us back, that's what we have and... well he's my son, of course he's impatient," he chuckled.

"Deacon.. just do what I tell you and everything will be fine." She smiled at him and bit her lip as held back another giggle. "Hold your arms like this." She gently showed him and folded his arms into a cradling position, draping the coat over them to wrap the baby in. "I love you." As she spoke the words, she glowed softly, her essence flooding the room with warmth and love. Kiefer leaned to kiss Deacon, her hands keeping his arms as she'd positioned them and he'd feel the weight of his son in them as the kiss ended.

He giggled a little and surprised himself, looking at the bundle that appeared, still softly glowing with her purity and light. He gently folded some of the fabric around the boy and reached for her before she got too far. "You -so- kick ass. Hey, not so fast," he whispered to her as she tried to part from him. He reached after her to hold her close in another kiss that would assure her the flow and strength of her power was not only from her to him, but from him in return.

Now that he had their son in his arms, she gave a shy smile to him, reaching to cup his cheeks as he pulled her back for more kisses. She curled to his side, gently around him and their bundle of love.