I'm one of the worst... (Vara/Pan)

[Lovely]

June 10, 2007
early afternoon


Rain was an odd sound, something fresh, something forgotten, something new each time it arrived. To him, it stung, too fresh, too light and too much of 'this world', hissing off his fur-patched flesh, rising in steam and hanging chilled again in the air in a fog that moved with him. He sneered at the sky only to receive its response to an opened eye. He spit back and took for cover, waiting for t his torment to end. Muddy clods caked his cleft feet, pulling nettles and leaves over them, making earthen boots that echoed his footfalls in the mouth of the rocky dome he came upon. The entry was worn, but 'new', looking covered on purpose to keep it hidden though washed open with the rain and he looked inward, wondering how far from the stinging drops he could find himself.

She'd used the rain to wash her clothes and hummed very softly of some tune her mother had lulled her with, as she hung the clothes on a thick vine that stretched across the back of the cave. The cave had housed herself and her mother until the older female's untimely death, the front being more narrow to keep it hidden and then opening into a wider expanse which had been carved and smoothed into a living area. Comfortable but not fashioned with modern trappings of this world. Vara had stripped all but bare to let most of her clothing be washed in the rain and she stood with her back to the entrance, her skin glistening with the drops of rain that were slowly air drying.

He sniffed the air, finding it foul with the cleansing rain but finding something sweetening it as the air moved through the corridor. There was something further behind and his eyes adjusted to the thinner light as he moved quietly toward the back. He wasn't caring much about being stealthy, but an unwary bear would ruin his day. Nothing of that sort carried to his nose. Fur and flesh of a different sort did. His warmer form dried and cracked the mud about his toes and ankles quickly as he stepped away from the more damp earth outside, breaking away to a dusty trail behind him and the sound of her song came forth now. "What wolves teach their children such songs.." he whispered, trying to identify the words or the tune. His whisper was coarse like his father's, melodic and strong as a sharp wind in reeds.

Her fingers stilled as she draped a scant piece of clothing over the rope and her head tilted slightly. She reached to a dug out shelf and her fingers curled around a sharp small and deadly blade if placed right. "Not taught.. remembered." She answered quietly, slowly starting to turn towards his voice and revealing more of her bare and damp curves to view. "What sort teaches their children to enter into the homes of dangerous creatures?"

"Those with children just as dangerous," he smiled, warming the air around himself more, the scent of his damp skin flowing with the heat. "Is that any way to greet a guest coming in from the rain?" His head tilted curiously as her own.

"Aren't guests usually invited.. and knock?" She pouted just slightly and twirled the blade in her fingers before setting it back to the shelf and twisting her fingers together in front of her waist. "Don't you like the rain?"

"How would you know to invite me yet when you didn't know yet that I'd be free? I am and thank you for asking," he nodded, watching her fingers and her form that was anything but covered by them. "You have no door and no, I don't. I find it irritating."

She giggled looking away from him as she bounced and rocked on her bare feet. "I like it. It tickles me and cools or is warm sometimes too." Her head tipped to the other side as she watched him in curious wonder. "How did you know this is where I lived?"

"I knew no one lived here. Now I do. I did not even know this place, but found it just as well as if I had. It knew I didn't like the rain. Stones know things."

She nodded understanding some but at the same time not, her fingers brushed along the wall to her side, nearly affectionately. "They're old.. strong.. mother didn't like them.." She mused quietly, looking over the wall and letting her gaze wander back to him. "So you came to hide from the rain? The clouds are dark and angry.. it may keep up a long while.."

[Lovely]

He shrugged. "The rain doesn't like me either. It's the thing of a land that's not mine. We have an understanding not to interefere with each other. Why didn't she?" He was curious and stepped closer, only enough to see her well and to take a spot of floor before her to listen. His own form, like his fathers, was partly goat-like with tufts of thick wavy fur on strong legs beneath a lean and angular torso. His skin that was bare was dove smooth but bronzed lightly, radiating a color that matched the warmth he gave off though no sheen of exertion. Heavy-set horns curled out, gnarled and bent with his age, curving and defining the sharp lines of his expression."The stones. Why didn't she like them?" He looked up at her though he toyed with the remaining dirt about his toes.

She watched his movements and admired his form though she looked away quickly as she realized she liked the way he was shaped. He was still a male -even if he seemed to be one she found more pleasant to be near. "I'm not sure.." He head shook slightly making her long dark locks sway and brush against her skin. "She didn't like being here.. She wanted to be in the city liked the modern things and to live among the people. She hated it out here.."

His expression gnarled like his horns. "People? Humans? Why? And why don't you scream or run? Have you seen one like me before? I don't know if I should be disappointed."

"I don't know.. I am not her.. she hated to hide here." Vara sighed and turned her attention back to him, giggling again and flitting down to kneel near him. Her eyes though dark in color gleamed with a red delight that made them softly glow. "I have never seen one like you... You are so.." Her hand lifted toward his arm as if she'd touch him but quickly snatched back and laced with her other behind her bent legs.

"So.. what?" He watched her reach and pull away as he flicked a seed pod over her floor. "Save that one until Spring. I have an uncle that will be sure it sprouts for you. If you enjoy that sort of thing.... green, thriving...," he seemed to spit the words as he found them bitter and sour.

Her pouty lips sucked in and out as she considered the correct wording. "So.. strong.. beautiful." She stretched out on her hands and knees reaching for the seed he'd told her to save. "Don't you like anything here? You don't like living things?"

He gave her a look as if she'd made a shocking discovery and laughed. "Why should I? Living things are mortal, boring and stringy if not cooked right. They like rain and like things green... and cold. Clouds and snow.. rain." He folded his feet beneath his knees and rested his elbows above them. "Don't you ever sit still? What creature are you? You talk of 'people' as if you're not one. Aren't you?"

She giggled again, finding the seed and scooping it up in her fingers, she looked over her shoulder at him and shook her head. "Human? No.. I'm not one of them." She paused and frowned, trying to remember what her mother had said they were. "I've never met any others of my kind.." She said to him softly, shifting back to sit facing him, somewhat mirroring his pose. "Why do you sit so still?"

"Nowhere I want to move to. I stay still and listen. Your song... it's strange, but not the only song. The stones and the rain, as much as I dislike it, make their own song. I like to listen and sitting still lets me. It also lets me think... about why I don't like rain." He offered a smile that shone teeth that seemed as sharp as his discussions were circular. "I may have met others. I can't remember if they tasted good, though."

She was attentive to what he was saying about the quiet and rain and then she laughed as his last comment came out. It was a highly amused sound and her hand lifted to her mouth as she shook slightly with her giggles. Once the laughter subsided she regarded him with curiosity. "Are you going to eat me?"

[Lovely]

"You're not human, so you probably taste better. You certainly smell better. You should thank me for having eaten today before I came. Your clothes will smell like the rocks drying in here. Even that smells better than humans, though no matter how they smell, they make nice breakfast, roasted from the inside out."

"I've never eaten a human like that, so I would not know how they taste." She smiled, her expression playful and she leaned forward, licking the air close to him. Her eyes closed for a brief second. "mmmmm you taste delicious.." She nearly purred it out, her toes curling and she wiggled slightly as though a ripple of pleasure flowed through her.

"But you didn't touch me," he stated tilting his head the other way and squinting as she pulled back again in her delight. She was like a human child and somewhat like a pixie, both he had a sort of sweettooth for, yet her form betrayed both and left him wondering. He didn't duck away or flinch though his fur seemed to bristle lightly and his eyes darken. By now, if she'd been human, her eyes would have grown wide and her skin pale, her breath faster and colder and her expression fallen as far from delight as seed cotton in a summer storm. "You do not sense as others do, or know me by what I am?"

"I don't have to touch you.." She murmured, leaning close to him again and shaking her head. "I don't... I'm sorry.. mother hadn't taught me farther than all males are .. bad. We're not supposed to like them." She whispered. "She taught me of the ways of some.. but not of anything like you." Her tongue flickered as if she was licking him, though again she only touched the air around him. He might feel it though like a tingle walking over him as she pulled away again, licking her lips.

"All males are bad," he murmured in full agreement, stretching himself out more to lean back on his hands. "I'm one of the worst and I do my best to be it, which is why I am amused by your show. You don't taste anything that makes you fear or worry or dread?"

Her head shook and she smiled, opening her eyes to reveal their soft glow again, she was just about purring with delight, obviously fully enjoying the taste of him. "You're... yummy.. like humans when they are full of fear or near to death and life force is pulsing and thrumming.. more alive then, just before they expire than other times.. thats what you taste like."

He nodded and watched her as she described him and in what way. "Life force? You sound like those sorry witches in their hovel in the woods a cry from here. But you are right and that is what I am, what I do. I am Panic and you are a curious creature."

She giggled softly again and curled her legs to sit on her butt and wrap her arms around her knees. "Panic.." She sighed out softly, tilting her head and smiling at him. "I like Panic.. tastes better than anything else.." She licked her lips and let her eyes wander over him, she was curious. She had so much yet to learn and mother had left her all alone. "You taste like this.. all the time?"

"I haven't bit into myself to know," he said, finding her question disturbing in an amusing way. "It is what I am, so what you taste and find appealing, others sense and find appalling, driving them to act beyond reason. That is what I feed on most. Their fear, dread, hatred of things others find simple... that is what I like here."

Vara chewed on her thumbnail lightly, thinking about what he told her and admiring him more as they sat facing each other. "You make the people taste better." She concluded, nodding her head a little with that.

[Lovely]

"Roasting them from the inside helps," he winked, smiling as he leaned back forward again. He held his hand out to her to let her feel the warmth from him, yet she'd find his skin was quite cool to the touch, nearly chilled like death.

She stared at his hand for a long moment before she slowly reached to touch it. "Mother would not approve of this.." She murmured softly as if she could hear the woman scolding her somewhere in her head. Her fingers slid along his hand, curling gently around it and she was surprised at how cool he was to the touch, yet such warmth came from him. Her fingers fanned out and her hand started to slide further up his arm over strong firm muscles. He was caked with mud from the rain which she could hear as the roar of it grew louder outside, no longer spitting but pouring down in a torrent outside the mouth of the cave. Vara pouted, pulling her hand back and then looking from the mouth of the cave back to him. "Bad rain." She said as if scolding it and she moved away from him but was back in a breath, with a bowl and her sponge. "It got you all dirty with earth stuck to you.. Vara will wash it off.." She offered giggling again, her eyes dark in color but lit up with delighted sparkles as she brought the sponge up to his shoulder.

"Vara?" His head tilted as his lips moved more around the way her name felt to say, wondering what it might mean and if she talked about someone else. "You call yourself this as if you are not yourself. Or is Vara another who is out in the rain?" He watched her and the sponge as she dabbed it over him. It was not unpleasant, but it felt strange.

She glanced up at him with a small smile, full of wonder and eyes that sparkled darkly. "Vara is what mother called me." The sponge and water she used to bathe him dripped and ran down her hands and arm, leaving her skin glistening and damp. She shifted her long dark hair over her shoulder to avoid getting it in the mud that she soothed off him. This revealed more of her bare self, her hair being the only covering she'd been wearing over her torso. Around her waist a bit of cloth was wrapped and tied into a 'cave woman' skirt that covered to her upper thighs.

"And I will call you this.. since your mother would not approve," he grinned, watching the water trail down her arm. His palm smoothed it over her to her shoulder. "It is like rain, but it does not sting. Thank you."

Her face bunched up slightly and her head tipped to the side, she did not understand his meaning in the way he said it. Vara simply shruugged a moment later and went back to washing him, mimicing the way he smoothed up her arm on his. "Mother would not like you touching me, either." She informed him softly, tipping her head to rub her cheek against his hand. "You're.. so warm.." She whispered, her toes curling against the floor as she seemed to like that fact a lot.

Pan's head shook to the sides as he laughed. "I am not. I give off warmth... and this is much different. Like my father, I hold warmth like I hold regard for men - sharply shallow and tricky, that is, until I have them as I want, burning, boiling and suffering in their fear to feed me like a king. If you hold tight, you're sure to feel the chill eventually." It was scarcely a warning as much as it was fact that overall his skin was cool enough to turn her blue if she held on long enough.

Her expression went all confused then curious again and her fingers began to dance over him, sliding lightly over his arm and shoulder. "How can you be both at once?" Her fingers stilled as she tried to find the cool past the warmth. "I can't snuggle you like the ..." She pointed with her other hand to the makeshift bed of cushions, pillows and covers. ".. if you're cold.." Her lips pouted a little at that realization, she so enjoyed snuggling into the warmth, especially when she was full from feeding. That was usually when mother would tell her stories and teach her things.

"I don't know why you would want to. No one has ever desired to," he corrected, stretching out for her to explore freely. She would find the warmth she coveted flowing off him in waves though the caked mud and damp fur kept the flow uneven.

[Lovely]

"Why hasn't anyone wanted to?" She countered with that same almost innocent curiousity, she smiled as her hands and cloth moved over him revealing more skin and fur from beneath the caked on mud. Once his arms and shoulders were clean she went to work over his back and chest, thorough in removing the mud from him and exploring the texture of the form she revealed.

He thought it over a moment, searching the walls and dark rocky ceiling above them, letting her wash away the rain water and murky muddy mess. "I don't want them to. I like how they taste when they fear me."

Her hands stilled as they neared his waist and she curled around so she could look up at him from where she crouched. "Do you want me to fear you as well?"

"No. You taste different than humans, feel different. Do you fear anything? You sing to rocks and you like the wolves." He chuckled, enjoying how the water felt different than rain and strange. "It is not like the river and not like earth, but both, this mud." He scooped up some of the slime from the floor, rubbing it through his fingers.

Vara smiled, slinking around him and leaning to taste the trickle of clean water that ran down his side. "I like how fear tastes on others.. I like how it makes me tingle.." Her eyes closed for a moment and she slowly gave a nod. "There are things I fear.. "

"You would fear my father," he decided, stating it as if there was no question. All men feared Raziel and all women were foolish to be found alone in his path. "You should fear me, but I do not taste that from you. Here," he said, rubbing his fingers over his chest, where a heart should be beating beneath the lines his muddy fingers painted. "Men thunder here and women tremble when I touch them, but you do not."

"Fathers are a thing to fear." She agreed quietly, nodding her head and giving no argument against his words, though she knew not who his father was. "Do you want me to fear you? Would that please you?" She asked, following the muddy trail he made with her own soft fingers. "I am sure you could make me tremble if you wanted to.." She smiled a little, lifting her gaze to his face.

Pan smiled, crooked, shy yet brave. "I want to make you tremble, but not with fear. That would please me... if you wish it." He glanced back toward the cave's entrance. He still heard rain whether it was really raining or not. He had no desire to find out and every desire to taste more of her.

She felt 'funny', in a way she liked very much, when he smiled at her. Her eyes sparkled and her hand stilled on his thigh where her 'path of cleaning' had taken her. Her teeth pulled at her lip for a moment while she thought about it, she smiled in return. "I would like you to show me."

"I am still covered with mud," he advised, glancing down to where she'd stopped cleaning. "Finish it and I will show you anything you like."

Vara nodded and dipped her cloth into the clean water again, dripping it over his legs and gently scrubbing him free of the caked on mud. She seemed more eager to get him cleaned up and her eyes lifted in excitement and wonder at what he might show her. "Show me what will please you..?" She seemed curious yet shy as she spoke the words, wanting and saying things she never had before.

Her attention to the work of freeing his fur and leathery skin from the confines of the tight and drying mud made him glowingly fresh and eager. Surely she was aware of what such female attention would do and had obviously done to please him already. "Look and you will see how you please me," he smiled again.

[Lovely]

She was looking at his face and her head tipped to the side as she watched him curiously. Vara took his smile as what he meant and she slowly nodded, moving closer to him.

Pan leaned to one side, stretching out along the floor and reaching out an arm to her. The floor beneath him was hardened from wear and now slick from the water and loose dirt and mud - all the better to slide on and enjoy moving any way he wished. "I want you here," he explained, showing her how he wanted her to stretch out beside him.

Vara watched him, then followed to where he showed her. She moved her cloth and bowl aside, crawling up and stretching out beside him. "Like this?" She asked him once she thought she was how he wanted her to be.

He nodded and ran his slippery fingers down her side to pull her closer, skin to fur, fur to skin, heat to heat and tremor to tremor. Her innocence and eagerness was sweeter than any fruit he'd pulled from any tree in the wood and the spicey aroma of her desire to please peppered the dish enough to make his pulse race with delight. "Yes... now run your fingers through my fur."

She was as eager to please him as she was curious about what he would teach her. Her eyes seemed to sparkle a little more with his approval of her so far. Vara reached with a firm hand to stroke her fingers through his fur as he'd requested, her eyes fluttered as she felt it's texture and his muscle beneath it.

"Now, find what pleases you," he offered, shifting and flexing where she stroked. "That would please me to know you like what you see and feel."

Vara didn't need more encouragement than that, her fingers curled into his fur and she shifted to reach him better. She explored without shame, her hands eagerly exploring his thighs, pressing against the muscles of his legs, she even ran one of her smooth legs along his to experience how the difference between them felt. When her explorations brought her to places and parts that she didn't have, she paused and lifted her gaze to ask him if it was alright for her to continue. her fingers rested softly against him, not moving until he assured her it was okay.

He nodded and brought his face closer, smelling the air around her. "How does it taste now?" He meant the taste from his lip, his face, any part of his she wished to experience.

Her eyes colsed and her lips parted, she leaned in to taste the flavor of the air close to his face as her hand slid over him. Though she didn't have anything to compare with his 'parts' intrigued her and she let her hands move over him, seeking to touch and feel each inch and ripple.

Each pass of her fingers made his breath change and his eyes flare with inner fire while his muscles tightened and shifted in her grasp. He moved his hip to tug himself slowly through her fingers and slide back to excite the air around them more. "Very pleasing. Come here." His cool breath churned the heat around her with his words as he passed his lips over hers.

She learned quickly, feeling how he moved in reaction to her touch and how his flavor changed. Her grip tightened slightly and her other hand shifted lower to caress as he slid himself through her fingers. She leaned closer to him at his 'command' parting her lips to taste his as he brushed against hers.

"Now," he started, taking her hand away from his tight and solid mass. He moved it to his tail, letting her fingers curve around the curly soft fur-laden hip and round tight rear. "There's something else I want you to taste and savor." His tongue slid over her lip and he leaned back, inviting her to decide how she wanted to experience more.

She was confused when he didn't direct her to what he wanted her to taste. She stared at him with the question in her eyes, licking her lip softly where his tongue had just been. Her eyes moved over his face and she moved with him as he leaned back, still seeking guidence from him as to what he wanted her to do, though her fingers now played softly with his tail, she didn't know what to do next.