The first step (Jesse, Angel)

[Lovely]

May 22, 2008
morning
The hotel - Angel's room

Merging into the bright world she inhabited had its challenges. The quiet in her room made him wonder if he had come into the right one. Sparks skimmed through the shadows of the bookcase though he kept the glasses on. The sparks converged more and his eyes shone behind the filtering lenses, scanning the room carefully before pulling the rest of himself in through his shadowy door. Morning light filtered in around the old, heavy drapes, painting the glowing stripes over the floor and across the bed. He smiled. Stepping forward, Jesse pulled the glasses away and lowered the hood of his sweatshirt as he came closer to the bed where she was resting. It wasn't like he knocked, but maybe she was aware of him being there. "Good morning, Angel."

He hadn't made any noise really until he spoke, but her eyes started to flutter just before he did, somehow she 'felt' his pressence even before waking. Her head turned toward him and she gave him a sleepy smile. "Who knew comas were so exhausting?" She joked in a soft voice still tainted by sleep, Angel was on her side, a pillow curled in front of her newly swollen tummy. "You came.." She seemed glad to see him and lifted her hand, holding it out to him to invite him closer.

"I keep my promises," he said, glancing away to some far off point with a shrug. Jesse took her hand and pulled her pillow away with the other so he could see her. He sat on the bed and leaned down with a kiss. "Expecting any company for breakfast?"

She would have protested the loss of the pillow but he offered her a kiss and she took that instead. "Someone may come to check on me at some point but I wasn't expecting.. " She bit her lip and leaned up on one arm to kiss him again.

"Got a tie I can hang on the door?" He kissed her again gently. He knew what he wanted to have. "You're about to be very, very busy this morning. I wouldn't want to worry Claudie-boy if you don't answer your door. Hungry?"

"I am?" She asked innocently, her smile brightening a little more with the third gentle kiss they shared. "Will a towel work? I think there's.. on the dresser.. I don't think I have a tie, but I havent looked through the drawers yet... I'm.. starving.." The last was a whisper over his lips as she tried for yet another kiss.

Jesse chuckled. "No towels yet. Food first. I know this diner... Seriously, I need you to see so you know what was real and what was only in your dream. Where you've been. It's only fair that someone believes you and shows you that. After that, though... I'll get a tie on the way back, how's that?"

"I'm in my pajamas.." She wasn't sure it mattered but maybe she should get dressed for real before they went off somewhere. "Will it make it less confusing?" She asked softly as she sat up more fully, her arm curling to her middle with her hand gently touching the belly that was there.

"You could be naked and it wouldn't matter. You'll see them but all they'll see is a happy couple stopping in from the road for a burger. Unless I want them to see you, but... no, I don't. I'm a jealous kinda guy and a bit selfish when it comes to that, sorry."

"Oh... it's sort of sweet in a way.." She chuckled softly and rubbed her hand over her tummy, she seemed a little shy and nervous about it, maybe a little scared of it too. "Okay, I guess that means I'm ready? No making myself all pretty or anything?" She chuckled as her hands came up to run through her hair, pulling a few tangles out of it's length.

He grinned and brushed her hair back from her face. "You already are, but I understand. Let me wander and see what I can find and I'll be right back. You've been off your feet a while, so I'll let you get your land legs a bit before we go. Something for your hair and something pretty to wear? I think I can do that."

"You know for such a bad ass guy... you're awfully nice to me... guess I'm special huh?" She chewed at her lip and brushed her fingers over his cheek, meaning what she said in a good way. She liked how he was with her and that he didn't pretend to be anything else, didn't hide what he was... even if she didn't know all his secrets. "Are we really going to eat? Cause I am.. sort of feeding two now and I am actually very hungry."

He seemed to shy away a little being accused of being nice. "Yes, you are special and yes we're really going to eat. All this hiding in shadows... kinda takes a toll on a guy, so I know what you mean."

Angel felt him draw back and she reacted in kind, pulling into herself a bit. "Right.. umm.. I guess I should find some clothes or something." It wasn't like she asked him to be nice to everyone or change who and what he was, she just thought it was nice that he was that way with her, that she was special. She started to push the covers down and off her legs. "Yeah.. I guess I know what you mean.."

"I'll bring you something if you don't have your clothes here." He looked down at her legs and seemed mesmerized, setting his hand on her knee. "It would be a shame to cover those up though."

"I.. actually don't know if I do or don't.. you don't have to go out of your way." It seemed to make him feel awkward when she'd mentioned him being nice to her so she wasn't going to ask him to be. Angel looked down at his hand on her knee and slowly slid her hand down to brush over it. "I guess if you're sure no one will see.. I can just go like this.."

Jesse grinned. "If I told you I was really only four feet tall and had six arms like a bug... this is what you'd still see because it's what I want you to see. This is really what I look like though. What you look like, is still as perfect as having a pile of burnt toast that doesn't exist on a tray you never really carried on pretty hands with a pretty smile that was always real for me. I'm not going out of my way because I want you to be comfortable, not scared anymore. And going shadow to shadow, for me, is pretty instantaneous. It's called tannabraeportation... call it shadow walking, or jumping, it's easier." His hand turned and curled around hers, pulling it up for a kiss. "Five minutes. I know just the place. Okay?"

Angel chewed on her lip but slowly nodded, she didn't let go of his hand though. "Five minutes?" She sighed and looked down at the edge of the bed. "Alright.. " She was at a loss for what to say or do, feeling very lost and confused. So far he'd mostly raised more questions rather than setting her at ease or answering the ones she already had.

"Less than five minutes. I promise," he smiled, giving her something to hold onto while he was gone again. Nice to a point, he was leaving her in a deeper mire than her dreams until he returned. Jesse took his glasses out of the pouch of his sweatshirt and showed her the sparkle briefly before covering his eyes and leaned to kiss her again for the brief goodbye.

"See you in five minutes." She whispered to him, giving him a small smile as he leaned to kiss her, damn he was an awesome kisser... She sighed softly when they pulled apart and she ran her hand over his cheek. "Hurry up." She ordered him teasingly with a small chuckle. His eye were amazing with that sparkle and it was hard not to get all 'melty' just thinking about him.

"I will," he said defensively though he chuckled. The hood was lifted back over his dark curly hair and he slipped away from her touch, exiting downward through the wedge of darkness beside her bed carved by the sunshine that flowed gently across her covers.

[Lovely]

"Damn.." She whispered with a small chuckle, he was too good looking, charming without too much effort it seemed and it also appeared she was completely smitten with him. It was hard though, remember things before the coma, remember that place she'd been as if in a dream, pieces of actual dreams, and waking up, everything was jumbled and confusing and she was trying to piece it together in her mind. What had been real between them and what was imagined? Were they as close as she felt, why did it seem so awkward now? Was it only the situation, the transition or was it something else.. like the fact that she was pregnant? Worrying and trying to sort it out was making her head spin, she just wanted to feel him wrapped around her again. With a soft pout and a sigh she shifted carefully out of the bed, she felt a little wobbly and weak, but she needed to be back on her feet again, she needed to be strong.

Jesse had gone peeking into a few of the other rooms, finding other new inhabitants and promptly leaving them to their privacy, but not before sliding through their dark closets, looking for anything that might not be missed. Damn they all traveled light around here, he realized, not taking anything from the new girls except a hair tie that could easily have been lost anywhere. For grins he moved a couple socks as well and found his way to what appeared to be Claude's room. Just a tie, old man, nothing damaging, Jesse thought to himself, taking one that was old and stained and out of date even for the 'dream man'. The other items would take a bit longer to collect. All told he returned with two mismatched socks, the ragged tie, a ribbon for her hair, a pair of sturdy yet still sexy boots, a pair of jeans and a skirt to suit her preference, and a beaded, embroided leather butterfly halter that would enhance the appearance of her motherly form as well as her very tempting cleavage and beautiful wings if she desired to unfurl her full beauty for him.. and he hoped she might. "Thirty seconds to spare," his ethereal charm muttered from her bedside, returning from where he'd disappeared.

She turned slowly from the few steps she'd taken when she heard his voice from beside the bed, Angel smiled and let a soft chuckle roll out. "Well good.." She attempted to tease him again and took a step back toward him. She eyed the items he held and she grinned a bit more. "You know I was thinking while you were gone.."

Jesse realized she wasn't on the bed and he set the items down, taking the tie in his hands and turning around to see how well she'd done with her walking. He met her halfway and stopped, admiring her standing there, real, awake, alive in the light. "Thinking is the most dangerous weapon known to man, did you know that? Especially when done by smart women."

"Oh but you are aware of our ultimate weakness, compliments from handsome men we adore... it's our undoing.." She laughed softly, reaching out to wrap her arms around his shoulders. "Was it.. were we real? I mean.. what we did and felt and shared there.. was it as real as it felt? Are you... my guy? The jealous boy friend who doesn't like ho-hos grubbin his dish like she's a ho?" She needed to know that more than anything else, she needed to know if she was imagining it, or crazy, or if they... her eyes searched his face, fearful, hopeful.. waiting.

He looped the tie around her waist and held it like he was anchoring her, but not so tight to hurt her, just keeping her close. "As real as this," he muttered out, running his other hand up her back lightly and leaning down to whisper closer. "Stand on my feet and don't let go." He kissed her then and waited to feel her holding on.

Angel already had her arms around him and simply slid them tighter to hold on and gently lifted her feet, one at a time to step on top of his. Once she was hanging on and standing on the tops of his feet, she kissed his cheek and whispered. "Don't drop me."

"Funny you should use that word. You know how that first hill of a roller-coaster feels?" He took a step back into the shadow he'd emerged from and his eyes flared with pale green lightning, taking her on her first step into the world of darkness, a small taste of his other home. It was like endlessly falling but not feeling out of control, underwater yet flying. "I'll never drop you." Within a breath he took another step and they were back in her room beside the bookcase. He let the tie hang loose but held on to her still.

Her fingers dug into his sweatshirt, gripping tightly as she looked around to see where they were, not a step back but across the room. "Woah... " She whispered and didn't let go of him. "And.. that's how we're getting to.. breakfast?" She asked in a whisper, still glancing around again. "That's how you get places..? thats what it's like.. where you go when you..?" More questions tumbled from her piling onto the others she'd been building on since waking up and she had no idea how to ask them or where to begin anymore.

"Except more fun now with company, yes. That was a single step, but from that step, we can go just about anywhere." He reached to the door without letting her go, slipping it open to hang the tie over it. "All that hopping and falling is really disorienting though so I'm sure I'll need to stay a while and make sure you're really okay when we get back. It might take hours."

Angel nodded slowly taking a deep breath and trying to put the information in her head in a logical order admist the swirling confusion of everything else. "Hours?" She asked with concern edging into her voice, wondering how disoriented she'd get and if that was part of the reason she was already so confused. Hadn't she spent time with him.. in the 'dream' in his world?

"For me to make absolutely sure you're comfortable, relaxed...," he said, rubbing her back gently. "Honestly? The disorientation part.. that goes away after just a few minutes, but if I want to spend hours anyway you don't mind do you?"

Angel's face lit up with the sweet smile at his words, realizing he'd been kind of teasing her. "I would very much like for you to spend hours..." She leaned the short distance to kiss him lightly. "I suppose first we have to go huh?"

"Food, remember? You're going to need a lot to keep up with me. Stamina in dream time? Pfft, days, but in the here and now like this? Does Claudie give you room service? I don't think it matters right now, but just for reference, you might wanna hit him up for some perks while you're staying here. Hope you like what I picked out for you." He slowly let go so she could look at her presents.

She looked at the mix of items he'd gotten her and she smiled, picking up the skirt.. he'd mentioned her legs earlier and she decided to leave them mostly uncovered. She chuckled to herself as she almost asked if it was cold out, it probably didn't really matter where they were going. "Room service? Hmm I don't know.. who would provide it?" It wasn't like this was a fuctioning hotel with a staff as far as she knew.

[Lovely]

She pulled the short night gown over her head and off, setting it on the bed for now. She was totally bare beneath it and realized she didnt have underthings to put on, good thing she hadn't had her mind set on the jeans! The skirt slipped on over her hips and she looked at her belly with a frown. It was really the first time she'd seen it without clothing over it, somehow it looked different. It was one of those moments when everything kind of froze and she just stared down at the bump of swollen tummy the popped out from her former flat abdomen. Her hand lifted slowly and brushed over it very lightly.

He did move silently but not to scare her. She'd feel that he was standing behind her, then his hands sliding around her waist over the coveted parcel she carried and over her fingers to feel him there with her. "I'm sorry I couldn't release you from your dream sooner. Don't be sad, please."

She shook her head, leaning back against him as he spoke and wrapped around her, her fingers laced slightly with his over her belly. "I'm not sad.." She sniffled as she said it, tears shining in her eyes. "I'm overwhelmed.. awed.. maybe just a little scared, too.."

Jesse hugged her tighter and kissed her neck. "It's alright to be scared. You didn't have a lot to say about what's happened to you. Has Claude told you what this place is yet? Why you're here?"

"Well I don't regret the choice I did have.." She curled into his embrace as much as was comfrotable for them both. "He didn't say much, other than wanting me to rest and that I already had alot to absorb.. he said he'd talk to me about this place after I had some time to sort myself out a little."

"I see. It is a lot." His hands moved upward, warm and comforting as he cupped her tenderly, briefly and continued to caress her arms and shoulders as he drew away enough for her to put the strapped leather top on. "I don't regret my choice either, not at all."

"Are they.. you know.. do they feel a little .. bigger?" She asked as she held the top up and looked down at her breasts. "Maybe I just haven't seen them for awhile... this is all.. so.. frustrating!.. Confusing. I'm in love with a guy, I've been dating for months, I'm pregnant with his child.. but I've been in a coma for months and I just met him in person last night.. But I can remember things.. things we did, said... the way you smell.. the way you feel... it's more than alot.. it's .. I don't even know what it is.. " She fussed with the ties of the halter top, trying to get it on as she rambled. "..and don't let a pregnant woman think this much before breakfast!" She was somewhere between laughing and crying and she looked to him with a pout. "Help, please.. my fingers don't want to cooperate here."

"What makes you think mine will?" His smile was wicked this time though he was no less sympathetic. He would help tie it on, but would prefer untying it. "Okay, come here. Likely everything you can remember in your dream is real as far as the events and where you were, but time runs differently in dreams and with the way I travel. Things melt together that shouldn't and that's why I want you to see it all now that you're aware. They are, by the way, but that's not a bad thing.. that they're bigger."

"It's not bad?" She kind of smiled and took another look at them and arched a brow at him as she came over for his help as if offering him another look to be sure. "I'm glad you're here, Jesse... I know everything is all complicated but you're helping.. more than I can say, just being here, talking to me.. helping me with my shirt."

"Helping -you- with your shirt is right. If I were helping me, well... you got my opinion earlier. Clothes are overrated and so humanly mundane. Maybe later you'll take a walk on the wild side enough to try it without, hm? Oh about your comment about jealous guy and the ho-hos, you're friend Mister Hat? He had a nasty run in with a bad slice of pie. He makes a pretty mean milkshake now, though."

"He makes the milkshake... or he is the milkshake?" She stuck her tongue out in a 'yuck' face at the thought of drinking Mister Hat as a shake. "Sorry.. my brain.. it goes to odd places sometimes.. which.. I guess you kind of already know." She sighed and smiled up at him. "Maybe I will try it without clothes.. we'll see."

Jesse laughed and reached around her again. "He makes them. There is still a health code and it is a real diner... it's just got a few... quirks, let's say."

"Quirks? Uh huh.. I'll say.. " It felt right for her to be in his arms and the contact with him helped to soothe and settle her frazzled nerves. "So.. what do you think we should eat?" She asked as she pulled his hands over her belly.

"That's really a dangerous question to ask me when I know what you have on under your skirt," he teased, spreading his fingers over her belly. "What does the baby tell you it wants? A little honey mustard and a plate of fried everything?"

She laughed softly, turning her head to kiss his cheek. "You only get to have dessert if you eat all your vegtables.." She teased him, pushing her belly up into his hand. "Mmm sounds good to start with.. what else should I have? I'm going to get big and fat.." She was kidding but demontrated with her arms and hands in a large circle around her middle.

He ran his palm over her belly and down a little, letting his large hands tease a little about 'desert'. "You're going to be a fabulous mother of an amazing young child with abilities beyond imagining. That's what you're going to get, and me beside you pestering and praising you both as often as I can. I told you, I'm not evil. I even come from pretty damned good stock."

"I know you're not evil.. and I'll be happy to have you around.. I'll save some phenominal dirty diapers for you too. What sort of good stock?" She chuckled, running her hands over his arms where they wrapped around him. "You know what.. I'm going barefoot, thats my start of walking on the wild side with you.. it's a little step but.. I'm hungry and I'm anxious for dessert."

"Mmm... maybe you can try the boots on later just for looks? Alright, barefoot it is. Hold on tight and don't let go. It's a bigger first step this time. Are you ready for me?"

"I think we already established that I'm always ready for you...." She trailed off as she turned to kiss him and wrap her arms tightly around him. "Hold that thought till we get back.." Angel grinned and winked at him.

"One milkshake with a side of everything," he smiled, not putting on the glasses this time. The lightning sparkled through his eyes as he homed in on his dark world and passage through it, taking the step into the darkest shadow beside her bed again and slipping down with her to emerge in the lot of the diner. Outside she'd see as it really was without a road to get to it though there were people there inside like any normal diner. At the end of the lot a shimmer rattled the darkness and formed into an image of a man on a motorcycle pulling up to the pay phone that was hooked up seemingly to nothing.

"From the other side people see it as just a diner, like any diner.." Angel spoke softly, her head resting on his shoulder as she watched from where they were. "Jesse... how did you.. find me? Out of all the people who come and go.. Why did I stick out from the rest?"

"You forget the story started before you were here. I put you here, remember? The attack? People see it like any diner because it represents something they need. A place to come in from the rain, get directions, make a choice where to go next. That's where I come in. Normal people come and go through here like the guy on the bike and he doesn't know any better. That's because someone's already inside who needs to make a choice. Others, like that one inside, come and go and make the diner what it is, make it appear for them to help them figure out what choice they need to make.. whether to go up that hill and through the winding woods or to come with me."

"But that's what I meant.. you put me here.. but you came in time after time until I finally saw you.. why? Why not just leave me how I was? What made you decide to come for me? What did you see that was different? I'm sure I wasn't the first girl to come through here."

[Lovely]

Jesse seemed to stall, lost, more shy than he'd been. His green eyes searched for something in the distance that wasn't there beyond the diner. "You. You were different. You weren't the first, okay? But, you were the first one I knew."

Angel stared into the distance herself, she was confused, he knew her? "What.. I.. how?" The words tumbled out, the beginings of questions that she didn't know how to ask or which to start with. As if the whole situation wasn't overwhelming enough, this added another layer to it. "I think I need to sit down." She managed to whisper, holding onto him more tightly but feeling a bit dizzy.

"Yeah. You might," he agreed, holding her up some. "Let's go inside. I can explain better if we're not both starving." He was ready to walk in as soon as she was but he wouldn't rush her. She'd spent enough months captive inside, he could understand her not wanting to rush right back in.

She rested her head down on his shoulder, sliding her hands in a comforting massaging motion over his back, though the movement and closeness was her way of seeking comfort from him. "Alright.. let's go eat." She was a little scared to go in, worried she'd get stuck again, but she needed to face it.

She might notice the tension beneath the strength he possessed, the control and concern knotted together. Jesse turned a slight smile to her and started off with slow steps, despite his long legs, on ground that wasn't there but felt like deep spongy sand at first then more and more solid, becoming familiar loose gravel crunching beneath them. "This is what everyone else sees when they first arrive. A small place, light traffic, people coming and going like nothing's weird at all. You and me... we know better. Chocolate or strawberry?" He held the door for her as he asked, letting her take her time with walking inside.

She didn't know when she'd shifted beside him rather than in front of him, but there she was walking beside him and holding even more tightly to his hand, clenching it in hers for fear of being lost in the darkness and not feeling at all like she was on solid ground. Add to that getting used to being pregnant, everything felt different anyway and her center of gravity was shifting naturally as her middle expanded. She practically stumbled along or at least that's what it felt like to her and she feared what might happen if she actually fell. Next time maybe she'd suggest a piggy back. Once the ground became solid she did stumble. "Ouch!" She'd forgone shoes and was in barefeet as she'd assumed they'd go from her room directly to the diner and not the walk across the gravel that dug into her tender feet, making her wince and pull her feet up, trying to step without getting poked or without keeping her foot down long enough for it to hurt too much. She didn't think or pause at the door, simply scooting inside to get her sore feet onto the cool flat and smooth tile. "Chocolate or strawberry what?" She asked, having missed most of what he said with her own internal oo and ahs clouding her mind and her thoughts on her stupidity of not wearing shoes.

"I'll carry you all the way over the threshold next time. How's that?" He teased, though he was sorry the transition ended up hurting her. "Your milkshake - chocolate or strawberry? Hmm, maybe orange creme, something exotic and out of the ordinary... for out of the ordinary like us?"

[Lovely]

Her feet were nearly forgotten as her brain took his teasing words and twisted them in a way that surprised her and she stared at him with a small smile. A moment passed and she took a deep breath, hoping she wasn't blushing. "Orange creme.. hmm maybe we should try it.. not sure what all will agree with me, though."

"No idea. I've never been pregnant. I've been in a coma before, though. When I was first learning how to do what I do.. Maybe I'll tell you about all that when you're not feeling queazy," his nose wrinkled up in the wince as he decided on sparing her those gorey details for now. "We could start with just those little celophane cracker things at the table, and work our way up to cream and... are you blushing? I'm sorry, what did I say?"

"I'm not that bad, really.." She started to protest with a pout, she wasn't sick.. she just didn't want to be sick. So she was blushing and he did notice it, darn it! Angel shook her head a little and blushed more. "It's not.. it's stupid and I shouldn't be thinking things or.. just.. " She bit at her lip, finding it hard to not tell him without telling him, finally she sighed and caved in. "The carrying me over the threshold comment.. you know.. threshold.. carrying.. married.. yeah.. my brain just sort of took it and ran with it.. I'm sorry.. Can we just sit before I crawl under one of the tables?"

"Why is that stupid?" His smile was calming as if to tell her she wasn't crazy and he didn't mind her thinking exactly as he'd intended it. "But hey, whatever you decide to do under the table... I'm not complaining," he shrugged a little and offered her an arm to burrow under instead.

A slightly disheveled man with an uneven 5-o-clock shadow scurried up to them with a lost expression but a kind smile that bent in a way to offset his crooked beard. Larry looked a lot better without the holes and the burns. He looked at the two of them without any recognition at all. "Hiya folks. Just two tonight?"

"Because.." She started and trailed off. "You don't think it is.." Her voice was soft, like her smile, sweet and maybe a bit hopeful. She snuggled back under his arm, liking how she fit there. Angel chuckled and poked him lightly for the comments about what she could do under the table, even if he left it open. Larry walked up and she watched him for moment not that surprised when he didn't recognise them, yet knowing what it was like to be in that state took her voice away and she couldn't give any sort of reply to him.