Missus Cobb

[Lovely]

[this was a test and the beginning of TSH - the verse evolved from here into something other than a fan fic so this is being posted amoung the randoms]
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Simon was getting ill just considering being in the room with them at all. Jayne was being his usual Jayne self that he didn't exactly get along with on the best days. To hear Jayne talking about all he 'coulda' or 'woulda' with 'of o' them pretty ones, but nooooo....'. Simon winced and tried to eat his rations, sure he watched them turn by themselves in his bowl, making his stomach turn as much. He almost wished they'd just left him down on the surface, or behind one of the engines.

Inara came in and cleared her throat.. "Jayne.."

He paused in his explicit descriptions of what he thought of the girls planet-side he'd been working around. "What? Like that ain't all what you do behind your door with them.. 'businessmen' o yours?"

"I think you'll be surprised.." She moved in to sit down. In walked in a very pretty and cleaned up girl -probably prettier than her sisters. "I thought you'd like that better than her overalls"

"Who the hell's that? When did she come on board?" He stood to come over to her, nearly walking through the table... stopped by it.. painfully... WHACK... he cringed.

The girl came further into the room, chuckling softly at him as she rounds the table and moves to sit next to him. "You seemed so displeased when you first brought me on board.. I thought perhaps it was my attire.. I didn't know I was being traded until I was.. Is this more pleasing than the over alls?"

He sat back before falling...staring, forgetting to finish chewing his vegetable protein stew... Ideas were working over his tongue as well. "I... I wasn't displeased. I was pissed as hell. When'd you trade out for one of the pretty ones? We got a stowaway in here?"

She picked up a napkin and handed it to him to wipe up his dribble and folded her arms, eyes nearly flashing at him in annoyance. "This marriage arrangement will be quite tedious for us both if you are truly this feeble."

His jaw drops more....
Simon's jaw drops....
mal looks confused and amused... starts to laugh...
book shakes his head....

"MARRIAGE??!!"

"Did you or did you not sign this?" Pulls the paper from the fold of her shawl and holds it out. "It clearly states that in exchange for the services you provided for my father that you accepted one of his daughters -that would be me. It's a simple marriage contract, that you signed.."

"He can write?" Mal laughed, "Well don't that beat all?"

"You signed a contract without reading it? I shouldn't be surprised, but.. marriage? I think you'd see that...," even Simon chuckled.

"I can write! And read... some..," Jayne growled at the others and snatched the paper from her. "Where's it say being acceptin' means gettin hitched?"

"Could.." She pulled the paper from his hands and held it out to Mal. "..would you read this please, it does clearly state.." She turned back to Jayne and sighed. "The tantrum you threw after I was presented to you, the one where you were very mean to all the inanimate objects in close range." She looked to Simon and smiled for his concern. "Thank you, he did not strike me.. he would not still have his teeth in his mouth if he had."

Simon was satisfied that she was well especially with the fervor of her snatching the paper for Mal to inspect.

The captain took the sheet and glanced over it, seeming to understand it well enough. His jaw crunched sideways corralling an insult or five from spilling out with the laugh that was almost at the surface. "Think more like she's struck you, my man. Inara... if you please?" He handed her the sheet to read what he didn't understand.

Inara took the sheet and brought her hand up to her mouth to hide the smile. She'd spoken to the girl a bit when she'd helped her get cleaned up and changed in her shuttle. "Congratulations Jayne and missus Cobb.. I am so very sorry you have to deal with him."

The girl stood before Jayne, she hadn't taken her seat yet and waited for the others to look over the document and for their affirmation of what she'd said.

[Lovely]

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It had taken some time and some discussion, then there were no more words and Jayne seemed to accept her. Leaving his room to wander, she was wondering if he'd mind her walking around the ship in the revealing outfit she had now that covered, but only slightly. It was better than overalls, but not nearly as dressy as Inara's fancy clothes.

Inara would mind... probably River too... Kailey would want to borrow the outfit to trot by Simon no doubt... Jayne wasn't offended in the least and climbed out behind her to stretch and head for food, coming by the Shepard's quarters on their way.

Book saw her and doubled back. He just grabbed a ... whatever he got first... finding a sheet it looked like... to wrap her up in... "Ship gets a little cold after sunset..." Book explained weakly.

Jayne was grinning widely til she was covered up. He pouted, "Shepard, it's always sunset, sunrise, middle of the day and night out here... space's like that"

She pouted at the sheet, looking confused. "But the over alls displeased you, and this displeases you also? I am not cold.."

"If Shepard had his way aboutcha you'd be wearin' both," Jayne grumbled, watching the man fuss with covering up everything. "I wasn't cold either... til he did that."

"I'm sorry. Until this is sorted out and since you refuse to accept your marriage to the young lady, you shouldn't look at her like that. It's disrespectful," Shepard explained.

Looking at Jayne confused and back to Book, she lowered the sheet and started to fold it neatly. "He accepted me in his bed.. doesn't that mean he accepts the union with me?"

Shepard cleared his throat and took the sheet back by a corner like a dead rat. "A union, yes, but not the union on your paper. I believe he still believes it's not a valid marriage. I'll see what I can do. I'll be right back." He took the sheet away for cleaning.

"Cuz it ain't so," he called after the man.

"Ain't never married nobody, even it was you."

She folds her arms and looks at the floor, appearing very upset and hurt for a moment. Her jaw clenches and her hands drop, one curling into a fist, which pulls back and then makes a swing for Jayne's face. "If we are not married, then I expect you never to lay your hands on me."

[Lovely]

Jayne stumbled backward into the galley, rubbing his jaw. He muttered something in Chinese slang then mumbled. "Maybe we are married... just like back home with ma. She used-ta slap my dad stupid, but then he was pretty darn dumb to start."

Simon chuckles and sips at a cup of something. "Following in your father's footsteps? I'm sure he'd be proud."

Century shakes out her hand, while it stings and swells, jayne had a hard jaw. "You would disgrace me and take me into your bed for your pleasure but you would not honor me by taking me into your bed as your wife. Do you know why my father chose me to give to you, Jayne Cobb?"

Jayne countered her sharply. "Cuz he couldn't stand listenin' to you jabberin about what anybody oughta or shoulda or woulda... How about, because I wanted to and you let him... and me?"

"I let you? Of course I did, that is what a wife does, she gives herself to her husband anytime he wishes for his pleasure.. I honored you by laying with you as a good wife should.. but you know nothing of honor, you are a pig. My father chose me because my sisters were not virgins, they lifted their skirts for the men in town many many times. He gave me to you because giving you a tainted wife would have been disrespectful and dishonorable. I was a great value to my father, I fixed his machines, plowed fields, herded cattle, sewed his clothes, cooked his meals, balanced his ledgers, and anything else I was asked to do. Giving you one of my dirty sisters would have been like spitting in your face for the service you did for him. If my hand didn't hurt so much, I'd hit you again. Because now you spit in his face, on his honor and on mine."

Jayne laughed. "Can't say it would've mattered much. I wasn't lookin for any respect, or your honor. Whaddid ya say about ... plowing fields?" The grin was lecherous and purely callous. "Didn't think givin' me one of you was meant for keeps."

Mal had held his temper and tried to keep the morning peace in check. "Jayne! That's enough. Apologize and head on back to your quarters. And stay there. Alone. Ma'am, why don't you come on down here and let's have a little talk about this piece of paper."

Jayne looked confused. What had he done now? The captain seemed to have his drawers on a little too tight to step in over something so trivial, it seemed. He didn't get married, that's all there was to it.

"You may not be a man of honor but my father is.. and since you don't accept our marriage.. there will be no plowing of anything." She moved to step past him and go speak to the Captain, stopping a moment and lowering her voice. "It's too bad, my sisters were terribly naughty girls and they taught me all sorts of things I could do with my mouth and tongue once I had me a man.. I'd really hoped to try them all out. I guess you'll have to settle for cold space and your hand for your pleasure." She smiled sweetly and slid by his arm to continue on to Mal.

"S'what I got Vera for," he sneered, feeling the colder air pass from her shoulder as she moved past him. He could settle for a little target practice right now but her pa was already too many moons away. "Too bad I gotta be stuck with the part of your mouth I don't want," he muttered about her comments. He turned to head down to his pit. "Don't need Mal snivelin' at me too."

[Lovely]

She folded her arms around her middle, walking towards Mal and dropping her arms into a more relaxed position as she stepped up to him. "Yes Captain?"

Mal smiled with a thought completely unrelated to matters at hand.. hearing her say 'yes' was something so foreign on his ship. "Could I get you to teach my crew to say that? I don't hear that often enough," he said a little louder, turning the back-hand around the room at those still in ear-shot to hear it. His attention came back to Century as he offered to escort her down out to the hold platform away from food and dishes and sneers. A better thought came to mind and he turned back toward Inara. "Ambassador, I think it might be a good idea for our guest to have a safe place for the night. Think you girls can play nicely and stay outta trouble?"

"Of course Mal.. if you think it's best." Inara nodded her head offering a small smile, surprised that he'd asked.

Century looked at the Captain quizzically, not sure what he meant by any of his comments. "I.. Captain.. You do not need to put one of your own in an uncomfortable position because of me. I was foolish to believe that Jayne accepted the union.. I was foolish to allow myself to be with him under such an impression.. but I assure you I know better now. I will not make another foolish choice."

"I'm not going to let you run around my ship unattended either," he grinned, his words a little more pointed and less polite. "We've been there, done that and until one of you comes to your senses about what's really going on here, I'd like for you to stay put... please." Explaining Saffron... heaven help them, they didn't need another one like her!

"Have.. Have I done something wrong? Something to anger you? I don't understand.. I have never been here before.." Her head shook as she tried to understand what she'd done to make him so.. annoyed with her. "I can change my clothes if they are truly bothersome to you or the others. I meant no offence in wearing them.. just that he seemed to hate the over-alls so much."