Cherished (Deacon, Kiefer)

[Lovely]

Sept 10th 2006
2 a.m. (after Unrequited...)
Along the road between the Montgomery and town

************************************************

"He's wrong, you know. I could go a lifetime, my own or several. I'm sorry he feels it necessary to include you in this joke of his." Who was he even talking to... he was alone, kicking stones ahead of him on the roadside where he felt comfortable teasing the passing cars with the possibility of startling any number of drivers - if any bothered to pass. He couldn't even be happy making comedy from this tragedy of circumstance, to find that the man whose wing he'd been taken under was responsible for the beginning, end and 'now' of his existence. What difference did it really make if he was happy as long as he did his job? Love... in love with him? What could Morte be thinking? It was a joke... it had to be.

"You shouldn't think so loud.. it's my job to hear you.." She teased, appearing from nothing at his shoulder, walking backwards with a slight smile gracing her face for him. "Don't worry I couldn't hear anything specific.. one thing you have in your favor.. being not human." She was misty and less than solid at first as she slowly gained more depth beside him.

"Does it matter? What I think out loud or otherwise?" Deacon looked up at her a moment before kicking a large stone up into the windshield of a passing truck, watching it ping off the glass and bounce to the far side of the road. The driver wasn't one of his quarry tonight, but he had half a mind to pick a few up earlier than planned to spite his father to suit his own amusement. This driver continued on with little effect other than being suddenly more fiercely awake enough to avoid the two of them on the side of the road. "Doesn't appear that it does, no choices in life either, why should I be surprised?"

"Someone's milk was sour this evening.. what's got you in such a snit?" She asked, still holding some mild amusement in her tone as she stayed beside him. Her eyebrow arching up as the rock pinged off the windshield. "What do you mean no choices in life.. there are always choices."

"Not to hear some tell it," he said, aiming for another large rock. "Or should I say, the choices aren't mine to make?"

"Ohhh.. what choices are those? I'm a little in the dark here.. I mean I have no choice in what I am.. this is what I was born as.. made.. however you want to look at it.. I don't get a choice in my calling or what I am in that regard.. but everything else is wide open.."

"Time, when all you have is an abundance of it, seems to be pocket change for others who see fit to spend it for you, deciding how and with whom, hm? I never really put it together before, but maybe I should have. I really am sorry he dragged you into this," he said, pausing short of kicking the rock, seeing it would hit her now that she'd become more or less solid, at least in his view.

"He who? and dragged me into what?" Her eyebrow arched again and her head tilted slightly to the side. She was dressed more modern this time, a dark corset like top paired with jeans and boots, her red hair flowing gently in it's semi wild curls and waves, over her shoulders.

Deacon found an uncomfortable laugh sliding out on its own. "Who else? Morte. I'm sure you two have had a great bunch of laughs together, usually at Venge's expense, but I guess it's my turn now, huh?"

"Morte?.. you mean.. " Her voice lowered to a whisper. ".. the death guy? Umm no.. actually.. I try to avoid him.. it's not personal but he just gives me chills and not the good kind." The look in her eyes was a reflection of the uncomfortable feeling he gave her. "Last time I saw him.. he came looking for me.. there was a soul he put in my care for a time and he came to retieve it.. but I don't see what that has to do with you? Was it not his to do what he wished with?"

[Lovely]

"Yeah, the 'death guy'. Nothing personal either, it's what he is and what I am, isn't it? See that's what I don't get. Just the thought of him creeps you out, so how could you possibly l-..." Was he going to accuse her out loud like this? What made him stop? His foot turned to the ground, lifting the stone into the air in a direction away from her and out into the empty road.

"Like you?" She finished for him with a small giggle as her shoulders shrugged and she regarded him kindly. "Because you're not him.. he does creep me out.. but I'm not holding that against you.. you might be the same 'kind' as he is.. but I'm not my mother or father.. nor any of my cousins or sisters.. yet we're all of the same 'kind'... so.. yeah.. I like you.. I like you very much.. I prefer your company above many others.. I simply enjoy how -I- feel when I'm with you. I'm always about making others feel or enhancing, encouraging that.. all about what everyone else feels.. but when I'm with you.. I get to feel.. "

Deacon considered her words with that same soured expression, wordless, curious, confounded, staring at her, possibly beyond her to find some sort of reason or logic to this. Other words she'd set upon his ears rattled around as nonsensically and the words finally formed into questions he could voice. "Why did he leave his souls in your care?"

"I don't know.. you'd really have to ask him, but I believe they were two that were .. unusually special and meaningful to him.. I'd dare say cherished.. he trusted them into my care as he knew I'd keep them safe and well harbored .. who better to than love to watch over your loved ones?.. even if they are in tiny vials.."

He laughed again, amused, maybe even amazed. "He keeps hundreds if not thousands under his watchful eye every day. Am I the only one who's confused here?"

"Those are his.. shiny toys.. his baubles that decorate and shine for his amusement.. I think these two souls meant much more to him." She replied softly.

"Baubles... heh, if he even thinks that much of them once he has them," Deacon doubted the man did. He had so many new every day, surely he forgot most of them as they were tucked away, though some did shine more brightly than others. "Special ones would have to be exceptionally so. I don't question your care of them. I don't. I question his reason. Why?"

"I can not speak for him of course, only of what I have seen and felt. When he came to me with these.. it was obvious they were cared for.. love leaves it's mark on things and it was on them." She smiled softly, twisting her fingers together as she pondered what to tell him, if he asked her she couldn't lie to him about anything, but what information to simply share was another matter. "He came to take one back to be rebirthed.. shortly after my own. That same night in fact, I was barely in the world again.. Though it was good to see him so animated, so lit up himself."

"Him... Morte? Yeah, a real lively character, I'll give him that. Moreso on a good red wine, I've found," he scoffed lightly watching her nervous wringing and expression. He chuckled. "Don't worry, I won't be the one to tell him you like him lit."

"Hmmm?" Her expression turned questioning and then her head shook softly. "Oh he already knows that."

"You did mean Morte, didn't you? Happy that he had something to play with?"

[Lovely]

"No.. not happy to have something to play with.. he has an endless supply of things to play with.. he was excited, enamoured.. joyous even. He was taking her to be rebirthed.. the sort of elation only true love can inspire.. He was looking forward to being reunited."

"Reunited.... ?" His turn to question. His voice was a hushed whisper. "My mother?"

She blinked, coming to a stand still and tipping her head at him. Her eyes widened in wonder and then realization. If 'she' had been his mother, that meant the other Morte had left in her care was... him? "Oh my... I.. yes. I believe it was.. His wife, she was mortal.. and that makes you.. you're his son.. his true son, flesh and blood.. not a minion or something he'd made..? Oh my.. "

"He didn't make me," he shook his head. "I came to his service willingly, or so I'd thought. Sure, he only told me recently that he really did make me, but not... well not like he made Rave. He.. she was a mortal woman and I was human once. I'm not a demon, either, if that's what you mean."

"No." She spoke quickly, shaking her head and reaching for his hands, though she didn't quite touch him. "I didn't mean that you were or anything at all negative about you.. it's simply a big shock to me for more than one reason.. I didn't know. I knew of you.. but I didn't know.. you were you.. that you were his son.."

"Oo, ‘son’ is such an endearing term, isn’t it?" He chuckled at the thought. It was still such a new concept to him to think he’d been anyone’s son but the people he knew as his mortal-borne kin.

She bit her lower lip and gave a small nod of agreement to him. "I'm sorry.. this is a shock to me, I'm sure it was much more so to you.. I did not mean to diminish that with my own reactions."

"I’m her son. What that makes me to him if he’s not human, I don’t know. What that makes me to you, is even more curious, why you didn’t say something about this sooner."

"It makes you half of what he is." She brushed her fingers over his hands, letting him have the chance to pull away if he chose to. "I didn't know.. I told you that. I was very surprised to find this out just now, but it does not change what you are to me. What you are to him is not what makes you something to me.. you are what you are to me.. because of you."

His hand pulled hers tighter as he turned to face her, keeping her as close as a breath with a wall of ice between them. The wall was behind her and he took a step. Though a similar height, he peered down into her eyes, menacing, forboding. "Half of what he is makes me no less what I am, Kiefer. I... am... death. To any or all. What I am to you baffles me. I take, I will always -take- and what I give in return is absence, pain and longing, yet here you are, lightness, fulfillment and compassion to tell me what I am to you?" He didn’t shout. He didn’t need to, he didn’t want to. The words were falling around a wicked smile as he came closer, silencing his tirade the only way he knew how. Warmer than his words, he offered a kiss, all he felt he had to give.

[Lovely]

There was no protest to his words or actions, even when he backed her to the wall that was a mere step behind her. Others may have been afraid, but her trembling was in no way out of fear. She was there for the taking, right there against that wall if it was what he desired. The kiss held at bay, any words she had to counter what he'd said, Kiefer leaned up to the offering -giving him back all he gave and more, in it's warmth and passion. Finally when she could speak again, she looked him in the eyes. "Love can not always be explained. What you take from me is only what I give freely.. You are everything you claim to be, by fate or choice. You are death.. and I love you."

"By fate, or by choice, I’ll destroy you. Don’t you understand that?" His hand let go of hers, a cool touch brushing her cheek before holding her still for another kiss, stronger yet held back by that revelation that he feared more than she seemed to.

Again his kiss was returned, fully and freely. "I do.. but it doesn't matter.. it does not change what I feel for you." Her fingers reached to touch his cheek this time. "It doesn't have to be that way... " She whispered.

Deacon couldn’t hide from the warmth, pulling it inward, devouring it, hungry to taste and feel more of it. For decades he’d longed for the warmth he’d forgotten but felt now. Her words twisted his thoughts tighter, pulling him from the kiss. "I am what I was made to be. You’re what you are. How can it be different?"

"Don't deny me.. don't hide from me.. what I am is nothing that can bring you harm.. Do what it is you do -take what I have to give, take me." Her eyes searched his, looking to see if he understood, if he would accept what she had to offer him.

"I’m not hiding," he said sharply. "I’m here and I am what I chose to be." He took his step back to release her, defiance glowing darkly in his eyes. "Or what my ... father.... made me to be. If I deny you, I destroy you. If I appease you, I destroy you. If I stand here in honesty and inaction, I deny myself. What makes it different?"

"You are hiding.. you just don't see it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by accepting me and what I am.. yet you stand there hesitating and denying. Why do believe that acceping love is such a terrible thing. Am I such a terrible thing?"

"It’s not you that’s the terrible thing." He stared at her, trying to find a way to explain. He scoffed quietly and turned to continue the way they’d been heading. He wouldn’t stop her from following, he might even give in, but he just couldn’t stand still.

She followed him, sensing that he wouldn't object to it, but somewhat cautious and curious. "Then why.. what is stopping you from accepting this?"

He seemed to laugh at something obvious only to himself, watching his footing as his head shook the nonsense of the thought away. "I told you. It will destroy you. Everything I touch dies, Kiefer. That's what I do. I interact only to take away the very essence of what makes things live. Haven't you been paying attention?"

[Lovely]

"Deacon.." She reached for his arm and gave him a slight smile."Haven't you been paying attention? The only way to kill me is to kill love.. by accepting me and what I offer you, you can't hurt me."

She stopped him from walking further. He was sure her touch would have kept him from taking another breath, feeling something catch in his chest, though it wasn't air. He felt frozen in place. "What if you're wrong?" He could scarcely get the words to come out above this hiss of a whisper that shook as he continued to look at the ground ahead of himself.

"I'm not human.. I'm an immortal.. We're not easy to kill. Especially those like me.. I'm a concept, an emotion.. unless you can kill off love from every being.. I'm not going anywhere. You do not kill them Deacon.. you don't choose their time, you simply deliver the message and collect what's left. It's a noble calling, and perhaps someday you will take Morte's place as guide and tumble the pieces yourself.. but you are not such an awful being to bring them what comes for them.. what they can not eacape being mortal."

"Not easy to kill doesn't mean you can't be." His hand raised over hers on his arm and his eyes closed as he soaked up some of the warmth he couldn't deny adoring. "The sea...," he shook his head again, inhaling what to him smelled like fresh icy surf and salty air. Deacon turned to look at her directly, showing the red rims of eyes that would shed tears if they could though they weren't damp. "I am awful. I have no warmth to give you, no comforting memory of youth... why?" His eyes pierced deeply, sadly in their questionning. "I can't be worthy."

Her other hand reached to his cheek to give a gentle caress that was loving and tender. "You're not awful.. There is no 'why' in love.. there is only love.. and you are worthy of that. If you weren't worthy or if you were really something awful.. you wouldn't think twice about accepting my offer and you'd simply use me for you enjoyment and toss me aside.. but not you, you hesitate and fret over hurting me. That proves you are worthy of my time, affection and that I am right to believe in you."

His fingers around the hand he held gripped tighter, seeking more of her warmth. "That's not the only reason I hesitate," he admitted. She'd know the tremble in his hand and the rattle in his breath. "How.. with no soul, how can I feel what you do? What is this that's happening to me?"

She smiled softly and stepped closer to him, her warm eyes lifting to meet his gaze. "You know what it is.. shhh.." Her finger tip reached to trace over his lips. "Stop fighting it.. stop fighting me.. i'm a much better lover than a fighter.."

Even in the lightest touch on his lip he could feel the warmth from her and even taste the salty air of the sea that he held fondly in his memory when near her. "Does it look like I’m fighting?" He asked quietly against her fingertip. He didn’t dare move, fearing she’d crumble, or that he might.

Her finger paused and stayed still against his lip a moment as she smiled at his words. "Well then.." Her finger drifted away and she leaned up to replace it with the tender brush of her lips over his.

This time it wasn’t proving a point or testing or hushing her. He stayed still, his pale eyes closing to allow him to focus on her attention to him. As she brushed and fled from the kiss, his whisper was more steady, but also more curious as seen in his eyes that opened slowly. "Well then...?" Was that it? Was that enough to sait her, he wondered. Wondering still, was it enough to sait a man that sought eagerly such warmth and feeling for so many years and had fled so quickly from it, perhaps more times than he ever realized? "What am I then? Still a fighter, or...?"

[Lovely]

Her eyes sparkled even in the darkness of the night, they were full of stars it might appear. Her giggle was the sound of delight as her hand reached to cup his cheek. "my love.." She whispered as she came back to his mouth with a firm and more passionate kiss. "..my lover.."

"Your lover?" He wanted to ask, perhaps she heard or knew the thought as it fell silent beneath her kiss, their kiss. Deacon’s hand was still on hers, pulling gently to let go and allow a different embrace. His own hand to her skin would be cool like shade from radiant sun, but comforting, sliding softly along her neck and into the depth of copper tangles that tickled his fingers.

"Could you.. would you.. if I asked?" She murmured in reply, letting him tangle and hold her how he wished, open to explore or simply wrap into. His fingers were cool, but in a pleasant way over her warm soft skin.

He smiled oddly, "A lover for Love? Isn’t that somewhat... redundant? Isn’t everyone you touch in someway... yours... like that? Your touch, your charm, how you make them feel?"

"You have it backwards.. I am theirs." She smiled again, staying close to him and letting her arm slide up around his shoulder. "I never ask for anything for myself. I've never wanted anything before.. with you I could be yours and you could be mine.."

"Then... are you asking for yourself? Or are you asking because I want for you to? If Love is ‘mine’ as you say," his head tipped, skeptical as much as he was scared to know that her answer could be the result of a dream gone wild or simple happenstance, a crush, a dangerous mistake for him to believe if she didn’t feel it for herself.

"Love is yours because she wants to be.. because for once she wants something.. I'm asking you to be mine because I want you to be."

Psh... Tried to tell him he'd get kicked right in his eyes one day if he didn't pay attention to that shine, she thought. Love's sister, Lust, Pharzuph, an impish nymph who amused herself far too often on simple humans found herself a rare goodie today to feast on watching these two finally getting it on... or nearly if she pushed hard enough, not that they could hear her at the moment. Kiefer likely knew she was near. "Go on Deacon, honey.. don't leave her waiting. You think the sea's a fickle mistress? 'Love' hath no fury?... That's a myth. She's got plenty of fury and if you make her wait to long, she might think you don't like her."

She teased and pouted a little, giving the boy a 'push' of desire. "He's all yours sister, dear. I can't do a thing with him. Control freak... Of course, I could have a lot of fun trying if you want me to." She wiggled an eyebrow and came to stand beside her sister, giving the boy a good looking over as she whispered for her to hear. "Morte's, huh? He's got the eyes to melt souls, not just take them. Nice choice. Sure you don't want any help?"

Deacon stammered, the words incoherent even to him as he listened to her desires take form. "Want? The desire of Love is to want the company of death...," he laughed, finding the concept odd on so many levels, partly humorous as much as they were strange. "Ever hear of 'little death'?" His eyes held a quiet mirth that brightened them and softened his angled expression.

[Lovely]

"The desire of Love is to be with someone full of passion.. just because you keep it restained doesn't mean it's not there. Not to mention I find you intresting, exciting.. attractive.. but I shouldn't have to convince you.. I mean seriously, what girl wants to have to talk a man into having his way with her?" She smiled a bit, letting her eyes pass over him and taking what her sister said to use. Control freak.. perhaps if she turned the tables a bit.. if it was a matter of him needing control.. maybe that would work. She couldn't answer Pharz or even speak to her at all since it appeared she was hidden from Deacon and the last thing Kiefer wanted was to drive him off because of her pressence.

"OOooo that's my girl," she snickered delightedly, gaping at the girl's sudden case of 'balls'. "This is new and exciting and... I might even have to keep you for myself if you keep talking like that, buttercup. Don't let me stop you." Pharzuph teased, but stepped aside and took a perch nearby to watch silently.

He leaned closer, finding himself a half a breath away to whisper at her ear as if pushed forward with secrets. It was as though he stepped ahead of his thoughts, but regained them with the scents of spring and sun and desire flowing through her hair. His fingers tangled gently on the one side curled to hold her close with his words tickled over her ear as he explained 'little death' ... and that she apparently didn't need to talk him into anything at all. The closeness by which he stood and the manner in which he held her, there was no question he was convinced and willing, though not quite so eager with his lingering doubt, still fearing his touch would damage and destroy.

Her eyes fluttered closed as she listened to and felt his words, her smile curled gently and her arm tighted around him. Was there a need to reply with words to that? Her shiver and sigh were likely plenty enough response as she shifted to sprinkle nibbles and kisses over his neck and cheek.

"Come with me. You said yourself, the sea is not far, an hour, less, more, does it matter?" He hadn't looked, so he hadn't seen it on any of Morte's maps. He'd been looking only for people that were due to expire, not where they were or how to get there, or even how far away they were. She knew, that first night she'd told him. "Take me there... and I'll take you," he smiled in his kiss, nearly giddy as he spoke.

"It's only a thought away from where we are.." She whispered to him, brushing over his mouth with her lips as she backed slowly, pulling him into the mist with her. The cool moist air rose up gently around them and as she stepped she felt the sand beneath her instead of the road as she eased them to their new location.

Her manner of travel was not so different from his own, passing through a folded time and space where distance had no real meaning, only where they had been and where they emerged now. Instantly the air filled his senses - heavy wet air filled with salt and ice that whipped over the slowly rolling waves. Her essence had matched it so perfectly he nearly didn't want to open his eyes, somehow hoping it was still just her and himself. His foot shifted in the wet sand, unlike any other feeling, solid when he wanted to be and here the earth was not. He chuckled and looked down at the clear puddle around the darker brown grit. "Never let it be said that I don't find you amazing. I do," he smiled, curling her into a delighted embrace. It was like returning home for Christmas.

The compliment was so much more to her as it came from him, what he was -that he found her amazing- gave her goosebumps in her more solid form. Her teeth grasped her lower lip as she gazed with delight and warmth upon him. His joy spreading from his being to hers in a gentle wave that she soaked up, feeling giddy and dizzy.. "I do what I can.."

Holding his arm around her, he painted her a scene from his memory. "You do... I can't even describe what you do, Kiefer. It's beyond me, but being here..," he smiled like a small boy, his pale eyes shining and nearly clear. He leaned to slide off shoes in a very humanly eager motion to show her. "I used to run barefoot... well a child could then... along the shore, dodging wave after endless wave, darting in and out like they tried to grab me and pull me in to my death. Funny, given what I know now."

She smiled affectionately, listening to him speak and show her memories that brought him pleasant sensations. "I'm sure you charmed the mermaids with your laughter." She looked out to the rolling waves, picturing him as a child running along the shores.

[Lovely]

"I hadn't met any yet. Didn't keep me from looking for them, though" he said, squinting out to the horizon. "More than my share of biting and stinging fish in my search, and plenty of fish caught for the table. Had to make it worth my while somehow. My father... the man I knew as my father... was a keen fisherman. Saltier than the sea herself, foul tempered and strong willed." He paused and looked back at her with a wink. "Don't think I take after him a bit."

Her eyebrow rose and her grin curled teasingly. "Hmm.. no, not at all.." Her laughter gently followed and she stepped towards him, her feet bare against the cool sand and water washing in. "Even if you don't meet them.. they are out there.. listening. Like so many beings not many people know are even there."

"Why do I need to know now? There are magical creatures far more rare and interesting," he said, looking at her again with a strange expression as she approached him again. He knew what he'd said and how he felt. The water wasn't as cold to him now as it had been decades ago to the small boy who lived at the shore. He nearly didn't feel it at all or hear it over the pounding in his ears. What he wanted and what he feared most were both held in the promise he'd made moments before and in the clasp of her hand on his... If she simply started, perhaps he could follow, but his mind still hissed and insisted he would unravel her from existence just by being here with her.

"No one said you needed to know.." She chuckled, closing her eyes as she soaked up the feeling in the air around them. "..I was rambling, really.. just saying what thoughts were in my mind." Her eyes opened as she turned to look at the dark man again. "Would you enjoy going for a stroll along the shore with me?" He might have promised something a bit different but he wasn't ready to hold it true.. yet. She reached her hand out in offer for him, a soft smile upon her face.

"You were being honest. I know they're out there, but none of them will come near me. Immortals, remember? I have no business with them... most of them," he clarified, taking her hand. Deacon simply started walking, not giving himself the opportunity to think, just do. "I'm sure if I were on a ship now, sailing toward the sandbars there, it would be nothing less than a showdown of wit and merriment for us all, them calling me to send my crew down and me defying them - or giving in to build my collection, but there's no winner or loser now. Just the 'is'... the 'being' of what we are, continuing in one form to the next. I suppose that's the problem, isn't it?"

"Why is that a problem?" Again her eyebrow rose, but in a questioning manner this time. She walked beside him, her hand curled around his, with her thumb softly stroking the top of his hand.

"My problem, simply 'being', Kiefer. How can I explain? This...," he lifted their hands between them so she could see. He kissed her knuckle. The desire would be felt by her and her alone, faint, wanting to oblige and interact, but there was such a difficult wall to climb to reach the feeling directly. "Simply being, a kiss, a touch, and more... it's fleeting, not lasting. What does it mean to someone like us? Transcendence, I suppose... what is the next level, when you're not human? We touch... brush up against so many things in so many different ways in an instant that some humans never encounter in their entire lives. How can it remain this simple and still be meaningful?" He kissed her hand again and curled his other hand over their laced fingers.

"Oh that's an easy one.. because we need it." She replied with a soft honesty. "It's in the nature of almost all creatures to need this.. it's why beings like myself exist. Without it nothing would be as rich or beautiful. You can deny it and even go without it, but your existance will never be all it could be. It's the driving force of most life.. even immortals. To find, to feel, to connect.. how fufilling is an eon spent alone? How much sweeter is any triumph with someone to share it with? Why does it have to be complicated, why can't you accept that it can be something so simple..? It's the cycle of life, of existance.. even the darkest of creatures seek to continue the cycle. Why does it need to be explained, what if it's not supposed to be fully understood.. what if it just is?"