For you

[Lovely]

May 30, 2010
2:30am
continued from: Dessert


The past few or maybe several hours had been amazing and Aless felt she'd changed, not because she'd given Kain her innocence but because of how he took it and everything they had shared since the moment they'd met. He'd been sweet, protective, understanding, patient, he wanted her more than anyone ever had.. and he'd been honest with her. As she tried to catch her breath, curled lightly around one of her pillows, she realized she felt something she'd never felt for any man.. love. A sweet sleepy smile curved her lips despite being quite sore, along with the few bruises and cuts.

Kain lay still though he was inwardly restless. He let the essence of her changes soak into his awareness, sensing her comfort and discomfort alike. He wondered what thoughts she built that he couldn't hear around the scents that revealed to him what she felt. He could almost hear the thoughts in her breath behind the smile she gave him as he watched her. He, however, frowned slightly, finally shifting to kiss her arm that was curled along the pillow. How on earth was he going to tell her now? What a cruel thing he'd realized he'd done to dupe her into thinking the others had left and only he'd been willing to stay, when it was because of him the others never returned. He sighed and rolled to his back, trying not to disturb her. It had to be the soonest possible.. agreeable.. moment to tell her and not bury the truth any deeper. He owed her that after she'd given him so much.

Aless giggled ever so softly at the kiss against her arm, she was content and happy, she didn't want to move at all. She basked in the warmth of the man beside her, reaching to lace her fingers with his. She wasn't like him but still sensed that he wasn't feeling quite the same bliss she was.

The giggle lingered in his ears. With it rang the sound of adoration he couldn't have manufactured and certainly didn't imagine. It was genuine and he tangled his fingers into hers, fearing that if he did not, she would slip into a mist and he'd never find her again. "Alessandra...," he sighed out, not sure which direction to even start explaining.

She felt him tangle her fingers and she gave a gentle squeeze. "Kendall.." She whispered in return, smiling for him but it twitched with doubt of what he was thinking or feeling that caused him stay on his back and made him seem troubled. She felt so happy that even the doubt didn't taint her scent heavily.

He chuckled lightly. "Sounds strange to hear my name, actually. I'm not used to it anymore," he said softly. His head began slowly to rock against the pillow. "It's not fair Aless. I've... I've done something that you need to... that you must know about."

[Lovely]

She hoped hearing his name in her voice was something he could get used to and that it would sound as wonderful to him as hearing him say her name did to her. Her smile faded a little and she shifted on her pillow trying to look at him.. she was right, something was bothering him. "Alright.. tell me.. what you've done."

He wanted to curl closer and reassure her that what had happened was minor and nothing to be ashamed of, though she wasn't likely to see it his way. For his family that he wished her to be a part of, there wasn't shame in it. They were hunters and did what was necessary for the pack to survive. She might not ever be part now, not once he told her. "I promised you no secrets, so... there's one that needs to be discovered or it might kill me... though it could very well, anyway. I'm sorry. It's about Dale.. and the others."

Listening to not only his words but how he said them, Aless lifted herself from her pillow, propping herself on her elbow despite the discomfort it caused her. Now she could gaze at his face, her eyes questioning what he was trying to tell her and why it was so awful. "What about Dale?" She paused, biting at her lower lip before continuing more softly. ".. and the others.."

"I know why they're not coming back, Aless. Don't... jump to conclusions, either. It's nothing at all you've done or didn't do. It's something I did, purposely, to be here with you now," he said, glancing up at her, clearly fearful that she would forever despise him.

She held her breath as he started to explain and waited a moment before letting it out in a soft sigh when he paused. Her sweet smile returned as she saw his worry and she gingerly moved herself closer, perhaps he hadn't taken all of her innocence as she displayed her lack of cruelty in her next comment. "Did you scare them off? Tell them to leave and never speak to me again?"

He grinned weakly, "Yes, but... a little more forcefully than saying 'boo' to them, Aless. They won't be coming back. You were right about that," he said, overwhelmed by the kindness of her spirit that sought the simple and delicate even as he began to confess. He looked into her eyes hoping she might understand the darkness in his own without him having to blurt out the harsh words.

She gazed down at him, hovering gently above with her long dark hair in mussed waves cascading down the side of her face and making a soft wall to keep them guarded from the rest of the world. "I don't.." She felt a tremor of fear at the look in his eyes, something so dark he didn't even want to tell her. "What did you do?" She asked the question she wasn't sure either of them wanted answered but it needed to be.

"You know what I am, what that creature in me could do, Aless. We're hunters. Hunters aren't like fishermen, baiting, teasing and throwing back what they catch, saying 'sorry, get you again another day'. There is not a next time. There won't be a next time for any of them, and that's my doing.. for you. For me to have you."

She stared at him in silence, looking straight into his eyes for the truth and finding it there with frightening sincerity. Her own eyes shimmered as her head shook in a weak denial of what had been done. "No.. you.. you didn't do this 'for me'.. you did it for yourself.." She felt bewildered, she felt betrayed. "You let me believe they didn't want me.. made me feel worthless.. you lied to my face and took me to bed.." Her voice broke slightly as her eyes welled with tears. She started to pull herself away from him and the covers up around herself, her cheeks burned with a shameful blush, she'd fallen for his tricks and given him nearly everything she could. "How could you?"

[Lovely]

"They didn't want you!" He defended as she turned and accused him of being wholly selfish. He truly had her every best interest in his heart and plan to induct her into the pack. His eyes were fiercely dark with an angry red heartbeat of their own as he rose slowly, staring her down. "Not to keep you and comfort and protect you. They wanted -only- this, -only- your bed and nothing else about you, Aless. I am not like any of them and never will be. I chose you above how many other girls out there... why? Because you are worthy and none of them were. This isn't just for me, but for you and my family."

"They never would have had this!" Her voice rose, not quite yelling but lashing at him, that he would think she would have given any of them the gift she'd shared with him. "Yes, I liked them and wanted to get to know them but I wouldn't have.. this was special for me.. this happened because of how you made me feel, because of how I feel about you!"

"Then why is it any different now?" His voice was soft and disturbingly calm. He backed away and stood to dress, picking up the items that had been strewn carelessly at the time. "I love you and everything about you. They.. didn't even deserve to be spit on by you. I know... how you feel. It's clear to me though you're angry. You're angry with reason, but it changes nothing of how either of us feel... truly feel. Try to talk yourself out of it, but that, too, would be a lie, wouldn't it?" He dared to face her, leaning on the bed beside her as he said so. He could smell it all over her, in the lingering elation and the sweetness of her breath how she still felt it beneath the shock.

Her hands clenched in the air near her head in a show of frustration and she growled at him. "Because you can't eat my dates! That is not okay on any level! You could have easily scared them away or even come to me.. come to me and told me how you felt or what you sensed about them.. you should have trusted me to make my own choice and to make the right one." Her hands dropped to the bed as she struggled to sit up, stay covered and not hurt herself more in the process. Kain had done his best not to be brutal or hurt her, but he was what he was and she had a few marks from the hours spent tangled as well as the soreness from her first journey. "I won't lie and say that my feelings for you are suddenly gone.. but I'm furious with you.. I'm hurt.. and I'm upset to know three men have been killed because of me.. and you lied to me.. I asked you if you'd seen Dale.." She went pale and for a second she couldn't breathe. "Oh my god... he's still outside isn't he? You couldn't have gotten far and come back in that short of a time.. You were wiping him off your lips when you came in.. I tasted him in your kiss.. I had no idea.." her hand covered her mouth as she was horrified by herself for that.

A smile almost made its way across his own face. He was amused by the realization in a way. "I should have told you, warned you... that he tasted terrible," he admitted, shaking his head. "He is out there and I will take care of that. He's not your concern, either. Not anymore. Be furious, but be forgiving, Alessandra."

The angry tears burned her eyes and she punched his arm. "It's not funny!" Yet in a twisted way it was, she half chuckled and curled her arm around her middle. "I am furious and I will be.. until I'm not.." She sighed, she didn't know how to express what she was feeling, other than being confused. Aless knew she loved him but was angry, hurt, and truly shocked by his revelations regarding her other suitors. "It is my concern. He was here because of me... and you said you did this for me.. do you really think I can just not care? You didn't have to kill him.."

"I'm sorry. Instincts are overwhelming and threats are dealt with differently when you're like me. He was a threat. A tiger, even a gorilla, would be moved to kill to protect his mate. I'm no different. Crass, perhaps, but I am an animal. I only seem to have a human face still. This is what I was, once, Alessandra, but I'm much more now. That frightens you, I know. You are one of the few, like me, like my brothers, who can handle such an amazing transformation and live it to its fullest potential."

[Lovely]

"It does scare me and my fear is exactly what you describe.. I don't want to be an animal and not be me anymore.. I don't want to lose what makes me who I am.. I don't want to not be human at all anymore.." The tears finally broke free to slip down her cheeks as she voiced her fears and felt the weight of them pressing over her, how could she say yes to him if it meant losing every bit of herself that was important?

"I understand. I sat where you are and wondered the same thing, but I still said 'yes'," he said softly, reaching out to her, knowing she hurt as well, leaving her little strength to handle much more. "Because I found it's being even better than just being human. You are all those things that you are, but... simply better."

She didn't pull away from him as he reached for her but didn't melt into his embrace as she had before. She was tired and didn't want to fight, she wanted to go back to the cuddles and the bliss of what they'd shared. She felt a little shattered and quite exhuasted, it was alot to take in and she looked up to Kain for something to help her stop swimming in the confusion. "I can't say yes tonight... I.. I need some time to process all of this."

He fought the desire to insist further. He would of course stay near and continue to observe and wait, but if she needed time, he had to let her have it. "Fine. You have time. I understand. I really do," he said, reaching for a short kiss if she would allow him one more. "I have to go take care of things anyway, but I promise you, I meant it all, that I'm there to protect you as much as love you."

Aless allowed the kiss, returning it briefly to let him know she would not deny her feelings for him. "Thank you." She reached to gently brush her fingers over his cheek. "I'm upset about what you've done to the others but I think I may I come to understand it.. I'm more hurt by the fact that you lied to me.." She blinked at a fresh shimmer of tears and whispered. "I love you."

He grinned and slipped back from her to finish dressing. "I'll go, but if you need me.. seriously, I'll hear a whistle as well as a whisper. You may not see me, but... I'll try to behave and not eat anyone you know." He winked, teasing her as he stumbled back into the pants he'd rather not wear at all.

She glared at him for his comment and would have thrown the pillow at him but she wasn't sure she could mange getting up to get it. "Try.. very, very hard." She sighed and eased herself back down against the pillows, wincing a little at how being tense had made her feel more sore. "Lock the door on your way out? Please.."

He left his shirt open, barely having it on his shoulders enough to care. He came back beside her as she settled down. "I will, and I promise you... anything and everything you dream," he said, brushing her cheek lightly before slipping out of reach to leave her to calm and rest.

She nodded just a little to his promise, there were many things going through her head right now and she needed time to process it. She also needed to rest though with all she had in her mind rest was not something she was sure she'd be able to do. Her gaze searched the room to find him before he left for the night.. she knew already this wouldn't be the last time she'd see him. If he'd killed three men for simply taking her on a date, how could she even pretend that she could go on with a remotely normal life? Honestly despite being shocked by what he'd done and hurt by his lie, she wasn't sure she wanted to try to live her life without him.

He had slipped out of reach, but not yet out of her home. He stood by her door while she settled and looked for him. Content that she was truly considering everything, he took a deep breath, taking in the scents of all things around her. He left her room as he backed out to the hall. He wasn't running away, just preparing for her decision he seemed confident would be in his favor. She would need to eat and recuperate and he'd left her in a very sore state. He quietly put together a sandwich for her with a few other items that could rest inside her door without harm until she was ready for them. He waited until she was resting enough not to notice. When she'd turn to see her door again, the plate would be there with a water glass and pitcher waiting for her so she would not need to maneuver the stairs until she was well and ready to.